The Truth About Depression: You’re Not Just Being Lazy
Depression doesn’t always look like staying in bed all day. Sometimes it looks like holding it together just long enough to fall apart in private. Like putting on a show with a fake smile even though you’re so drained you can feel it in your soul.
If you’ve been wondering why everyday tasks feel overwhelming, why your body feels heavy, or why joy feels just out of reach, you’re not alone. What you’re feeling might be depression, and naming it is the first act of healing.
The Truth About Depression - What Is It Really?
Depression is another one of the words that we hear about often, but may not truly know what it means. Some people throw it around like candy. Others find it something sinful that needs to be prayed away. Thankfully, there are some who are entirely sure what it means, but are ready to learn!
Depression is a significantly lower mood or a loss of interest in tasks. The lowered mood is often described as feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and despair. It also occurs with other symptoms such as changes in sleeping and eating patterns. For it to be considered clinical depression, these symptoms have to last for most of the day for multiple days.
Depression is not someone just being “lazy” or “rude”. People with depression are genuinely experiencing a disorder that is impacting their mood and functioning. It’s deeper than sadness. It lasts longer, can affect your ability to function throughout the day, and for some types of depression, it doesn’t have to be triggered by anything to pop up.
Some of the most common types of depression include:
Major Depressive Episodes: intense, long-lasting sadness, loss of interest, and feelings of emptiness and worthlessness for at least two weeks. Tends to come in and then go out in waves, or episodes.
Persistent Depression (Dysthymia): Constant depressive symptoms for two years or more. Some people may not even realize it’s depression because they say things like “I’ve always been this way.”
Postpartum Depression (Perinatal Depression): Happens during pregnancy or within a few weeks of delivery.
Seasonal Affective: Depressive episodes that tend to follow the weather seasons. Like in the fall or winter, as the temperature starts to go down and it gets darker earlier.
Depression can be caused by a variety of things. Some may experience an imbalance in their hormones or brain chemistry. For others, it may have been brought on by a series of negative events occurring in their lives. Family history can also be another cause of depression. Medical conditions and substance use can also bring about depression.
Who Does Depression Affect?
Depression can affect everyone, even children. According to the World Health Organization, 3.8% of the population has been affected by depression. Women are almost twice as likely as men to experience depression. Depression is also more likely to be diagnosed in white people than in people of color. Like many other mental health diagnoses, the symptoms may show up differently from person to person.
If you look closely, you’ll often find depression woven into the lives of people you may least expect. That tough friend who seems like they have their life together? They could be struggling with depression. So could the friend who’s always making people laugh and never forgets to check on people.
So many people struggle in silence on their own. This is especially true for Black women. We’re often taught from a young age that we need to be strong and not show “weakness”. That we need to pray our worries away, or that our faith must not be strong enough if we’re not okay. The ever-present stigma can make it even harder for us to be willing to ask for help, and instead, we often try to figure it out on our own. Unfortunately, due to pressure from our society and culture, many people feel like they need to “keep it together” and rarely ask for help.
What Does Depression Affect?
Depression can affect you mentally, emotionally, physically, and socially.
Mental symptoms of depression include a lower ability to think or concentrate, indecisiveness, brain fog, frequent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), a desire to commit suicide, or active plans to commit suicide.
In addition to the feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and despair that were mentioned previously, there are other ways you could be impacted emotionally. There can be an increased sense of worthlessness, irrational levels of guilt, and higher levels of irritability, especially in children.
Depression has a lot of physical symptoms. Insomnia or hypersomnia is one of the most common physical symptoms and is a big indicator of clinical depression. Unintentional weight loss and changes in appetite also happen frequently. Fatigue, loss of energy, and slower movement can also occur.
Social changes include withdrawing from others. Inability to engage in activities you previously enjoyed. You may find it hard to commit to plans, and relationships may begin to deteriorate.
Depression has a range of severity that is dependent on the number of symptoms that are being expressed. You don’t need to experience every symptom at all times to have depression.
How Long Does Depression Last
Depressive episodes can vary in length, but symptoms need to have lasted for at least two weeks. Some people may experience something akin to flare-ups and have episodes that go away and come back from time to time. Others may experience chronic depression that lasts for months. It is also possible to have a single episode and then not experience another one again.
What Happens If Depression Is Left Untreated
Depression has a very high rate of suicidal behavior and is always something to be mindful of. Men with depression are more likely than women to die by suicide. When depression is left untreated, the symptoms will continue to increase in intensity. Not all people with depression will attempt to commit suicide, but it is very prevalent.
There will also be an increase in the severity of your symptoms. This can result in an impact on your daily living skills and ability to work or go to school.
How Can Depression Be Treated
Sometimes we might feel like getting help is “not for us” or something to be ashamed of. We might feel distrust of mental health systems due to generational trauma, or have been led to believe we don’t have enough faith and need to just pray more. But getting treated can truly be life-changing.
Therapy and medication are incredibly useful ways to treat depression. Virtual options make getting support much more accessible. Talk to your doctor to rule out any medical causes for your depression. Schedule a consultation with a therapist. Through my practice, Mindful Blooms Counseling, I often work with women doing their best to navigate life while battling depression. I help them come up with some coping skills, elevate their depressed mood, and identify some of the roots that may be causing their depression. This can be your experience too. Depression doesn’t have to be your life sentence. You can get treatment for it.
Where To Start
Contact your healthcare provider. It is very important to determine if there are any medical causes of your depression.
Identify safe people in your life who can check in on you. Experiencing a depressive episode can make it very hard to initiate contact with others. Find people who are willing and able to check up on you when they notice a change.
Try to do one small thing a day. You may not feel like you can do much when you're in an episode, but try to think of some small things. Maybe it’s taking a few minutes to brush your teeth or prepare a snack. One small thing a day can make a huge impact in the long run.
You’re Not Alone
If you’ve been moving through life with a heavy heart, smiling when you don’t feel like it, or wondering if anyone sees how tired you are, please know that you’re not alone. Depression may try to tell you that no one understands, but I can promise you that’s not true. Others are walking this road too. You’re not too strong to be supported, and you are not too far gone to be helped. Depression doesn’t disqualify you from healing. Whether your next step is therapy, prayer, journaling, or simply breathing a little deeper today, you are worthy of taking that step. You are not alone in this.
A Final Word
Depression is real, and it’s heavy. You’re not choosing to be depressed, or just sitting around because you’re too lazy. Please know that you’re allowed to need help. You’re allowed to want peace. You deserve to take care of your mind.
