The Truth About Anxiety: It’s Not Just in Your Head

Do you ever feel like your brain just will not shut up? Like it keeps running through the same things over and over because you’re worried about something? You’re not alone, and honestly, it’s really not “just in your head.” You might actually be experiencing anxiety.

A lot of the time, when we’re experiencing we know we’re working ourselves up for something that may not even happen, but it’s not like we're doing it on purpose. So often, my clients will tell me things like “they just need to get out of their head,” or their well-meaning mom will say something like “just calm down, and breathe. Everything will be okay.” Sometimes I just have to shake my head, because if we could flip a switch or press a button to turn it off, don’t they think that would be the FIRST THING we tried to do?

Here’s the thing about anxiety: we’re not choosing to have it, and it doesn’t just affect our minds. It goes deeper than that. It impacts it in multiple ways, from emotionally and physically to even the ways we show up in relationships with others. And yet, we don’t really like to talk about it. Especially in the black community and religious spaces. Usually, if you hear it being mentioned, it’s in a joking way or someone's just getting told to “pray it away”. 

We’re not doing that here. Here we’re going to dive into the actual truth about anxiety and get the conversation going about how to know what it feels like, and what we can do to keep it from feeling like it’s overtaking our lives.

What is Anxiety?

It may seem like anxiety is a trendy new buzzword, but it actually holds a lot of significance! The Diagnostic Statistical Manual 5-TR defines anxiety as “anticipation of a future event”. At first, this may not seem like much at all, but that’s where the difference between clinical anxiety and more “traditional”, or non-pathological, anxiety can come into play. Clinical anxiety is more intense, and the symptoms last for much longer.

I really want to emphasize the anticipation aspect of anxiety. This is what sets it apart from fear. Fear is in response to an imminent event, or a very real event that is coming soon. Anxiety is in response to an event that may not even happen. It becomes clinical anxiety when the anxiety becomes excessive or starts to impact your functioning.

There are a lot of different kinds of clinical anxiety:

• Generalized Anxiety: Anxiety about a variety of things all the time, and unable to control the worry.

• Social Anxiety: Focused on social settings, and the anxiety is related to others judging you.

• Separation Anxiety: Often seen in kids, and it’s when they have anxiety about being separated from their caregiver or attachment figure.

• Health/Illness Anxiety: Anxiety about having or getting serious health problems

An anxiety disorder is when the feelings become excessive and make it hard to function. Some levels of anxiety are normal of course, but don’t punish yourself or convince yourself to “suck it up”, especially if you’re really struggling.

Who Does Anxiety Affect?

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 40 million adults in the U.S. are affected by an Anxiety Disorder. Women are twice as likely as men to develop an anxiety disorder. Isn’t it crazy how quick we can be to dismiss things, even when millions of people struggle with it?

Another common reason people don’t recognize the validity of anxiety is that they don’t realize how many things that they experience on a regular basis can actually cause anxiety. Things like trauma, racial stress/microaggressions, faith-based or religious shame,  chronic stress, perfectionism, and family dynamics can seriously contribute to anxiety, yet we minimize it or try to act like it isn’t that big of a deal.

Anxiety often starts in childhood, and if you really think about it, it makes sense. Childhood is when we start to develop our worldview and our inner voice. Were you raised in a culture that told you you needed to toughen up and be strong? Maybe you were expected to figure it out yourself. If you’re a black woman, I know you relate to the idea of having to be superwoman from a young age. You can’t tell me that this hasn’t left a lasting impact on your life in some way.

What Does Anxiety Affect?

Anxiety can affect you in a lot of different ways because it’s not just in your head. Yes, it does impact you cognitively, but it also impacts you behaviorally and physically.

People tend to be more familiar with the cognitive impacts of anxiety. Things like racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating on tasks, overthinking, and hypervigilance are just a few ways anxiety shows up. And they are often the most talked-about symptoms. Which is why so many people often incorrectly believe that anxiety is “just in your head” or you should “just calm down and relax.”

Anxiety can cause you to change the way you behave or act. You might find yourself becoming more irritable with things or people. Avoiding people or places might increase because of your anxiety.. Sometimes people will start trying to be people pleasers and avoid making decisions for themselves. You could struggle with making plans or canceling on friends and family more often.

The physical symptoms of anxiety can sometimes be harder to notice. Not because you’re not feeling it, but because you may not even realize that it’s connected to your anxiety. More “traditional” symptoms you may notice are panic attacks, increased heart rate, and hyperventilation, but there are others too! You might see things like an increase in fatigue or sleeping problems. Headaches and muscle tension are common too, particularly in your stomach. 

Like other mental health diagnoses, anxiety can look different for everyone. And there are many different types of anxiety disorders with their differences and similarities.

How Long Does Anxiety Last

If it is general anxiety about an upcoming situation, you will likely feel relief once the event is over. However, if it is disordered anxiety, it can last for months or years. It may feel like your brain is always looking for the next thing to be anxious about.

This is a big part of why therapists will often ask you how long you have been feeling anxious. Sometimes the anxiety can go away on its own! When it is chronic or lasting for a significant amount of time, like six months, then you might be leaning into clinical anxiety territory.

What Happens If Anxiety is Left Untreated

Let’s be honest: many of us have learned how to function with anxiety. We’ve pushed through. We’ve prayed through. We smiled through. And maybe, for a while, that worked.

But untreated clinical anxiety doesn’t usually just go away. It tends to grow quietly over time. becoming heavier, more disruptive, and harder to hide.

Given that anxiety often develops in childhood, leaving it untreated can result in an increase in symptoms. It can also result in a decreased ability to perform daily living skills, an inability to work, and strains in relationships. Unfortunately, unmanaged anxiety also leads to a greater risk of suicide.

How Can Anxiety be Treated?

Thankfully, there are ways that anxiety can be treated, and there’s something for everyone. If your anxiety is more severe, you may need to talk to your doctor about your experiences. They may prescribe you medication to bring your anxiety down to a more manageable level. Keeping in mind that anxiety can sometimes be caused by abnormal brain chemistry, talking to your doctor is a very important step. 

You can schedule a consultation with therapists so you can find the right therapist for you. By seeing a therapist, you can develop coping skills and identify some of the root causes of your anxiety. At my practice, Mindful Blooms Counseling, I often help women navigate anxiety so they can feel more like themselves and not feel so weighed down.

Try journaling or specific worksheets. So often, anxiety causes us to see ourselves in a negative light. We can change that. Use resources that help you speak to yourself more positively. Surround yourself with things that make you feel grounded. Don’t be afraid to practice pouring into yourself.

There’s no shame in needing help. You’re not failing if you need medication, a therapist, or a midday reset. You’re human. There’s nothing truly worth gaining if you allow yourself to suffer in silence.

The Truth About Anxiety - It’s Not Just in Your Head

I hope you now know that whoever tries to tell you that “anxiety is just in your head” isn’t seeing the whole picture. It’s in your chest, your stomach, your shoulders, your breath. There are so many layers to it, and unfortunately, most people will never fully understand. 

When we name it fully, we create space to truly heal. If you’re experiencing anxiety, you’ve likely been responding to a world that has asked you to hold too much for too long. But you don’t have to stay in survival mode forever. You’re not making it up. You don’t have to carry this alone. Healing is possible, and you are so worthy of it.

A Final Word

If this blog shook something up in you, it’s okay to feel tender. Take a deep breath and remember, you don’t have to heal it all at once and you’re not meant to do it alone.

At Blooming with Bisi, I believe healing is hard, but it’s so worth it. Whether through therapy, workshops, or resources, I’m here to walk with you.