The Truth About Trauma: Why You’re Not Too Sensitive or Broken
Have you ever had something really small completely mess you up? Sometimes you’ve even thought in the moment, “What is happening, this should not be that big of a deal?” Or maybe you’ve just felt so heavy, and you haven’t been sure why. You’re not alone. Many women—especially women of color—have experienced this. A lot of the time, it’s actually from trauma, even if you don’t realize it.
Typically, when you hear the word trauma, or something being traumatic, you might think of a sudden, significant, and negative event. This isn’t always the case. Honestly, trauma is just the response to something that is deeply distressing. This can occur from a variety of situations, and the impacts can be pretty severe.
Trauma can impact not only our minds but also our bodies and spirits. Yet, some people may not even fully realize that they’ve experienced it. So often, I see people brush away the severity of what they went through, but then experience mental and physical issues that severely impact their well-being. Things like chronic fatigue, poor decision-making, emotional dysregulation, and relationship issues are just some of the ways trauma can affect you.
Some studies show that over 70% of people have experienced a traumatic event (Benjet et al., 2016, Kessler et al., 2017), yet trauma still gets treated as some kind of taboo topic. In the black community, we’re quick to dismiss it. We’ll call someone dramatic, say they’re over exaggerating, or label them as someone who’s always telling stories. We minimize it and misunderstand it, and unfortunately, we let ourselves continue to suffer and block healing from happening in our communities.
Conversations like these can go a long way in helping people to understand that their experiences are real and valid, and that they’re worthy of treatment too. When more of us take the time to learn about what trauma really is, we can start to end the stigma and make a difference in the lives of others. Because when we take the time to actually understand what’s going on, that’s when true healing can start.
For this blog, I’ll be focusing on psychological trauma or mental trauma. This is different from the context of trauma in a hospital setting, where trauma is often referring to a severe physical injury that may require something like surgery or physical therapy.
What is Trauma?
Trauma is the response to a distressing event. You may have heard phrases like “that was traumatic” or “that must have been so traumatizing”. Even just witnessing a severe event can lead to trauma.
Think of it as big “T” trauma and little “t” trauma.
Big T Trauma is the larger-scale events, like a natural disaster or a car accident. Little t trauma can be smaller scale and often chronic, like bullying, financial hardships, or loss of a relationship. It typically has a more personal connection than big “T” trauma. Both of these categories of trauma can have a major impact on your life and mental health.
Types of Trauma
Trauma is often broken down into three major categories. Acute, chronic, and complex.
Acute trauma is a response to a single event. Examples of this include:
Car accidents
Natural disasters
Assault
Medical emergency
An unexpected death
Chronic trauma is a response to ongoing events. Examples of this include:
Child abuse
Domestic violence
Bullying
Homelessness
Chronic medical conditions
Complex trauma is a response to multiple events over a long time. This often has a lot of overlap with chronic trauma, as a lot of chronic trauma is systematic, or interconnected with many things. Examples of this include:
Living in poverty
Generational Trauma
Racial Trauma
Religious Trauma
All forms of trauma are valid. Whether it is a one-time event or something ongoing, it counts. When we start to actually call trauma for what it is, it can answer so many of our questions and point us in the direction of healing and breakthroughs.
Who Does Trauma Affect?
Another misconception about trauma is that it’s mainly veterans who experience it, yet anyone can be impacted by trauma. Everyone experiences it differently. Two people may have been present for the exact same event, or grown up in the same environment, and still be affected in completely different ways. It doesn't mean that one person is heartless or the other is overly sensitive. It just means they are different people who process things in different ways.
Here are some types of trauma you might not even realize you’ve experienced without even realizing:
Relational Trauma
From toxic friendships to emotionally unavailable parents. If you’ve had to earn love, prove your worth, or suppress your needs in relationships, that’s not just dysfunction. It’s trauma.
Chronic Stress Trauma
When you’re always in survival mode. Whether it’s from navigating racism, single parenting, or financial instability, it adds up.
Religious Trauma
Many of us were taught that obedience meant silence, and questioning meant sin. If you’ve been shamed, silenced, or spiritually manipulated, that’s spiritual trauma.
What Does Trauma Affect?
Trauma can affect you mentally, emotionally, physically, and even socially,
Mentally, you can become more vulnerable to mental health problems. There are many mental health diagnoses that stem from experiencing some form of trauma. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Anxiety, Depression, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can all stem from experiencing trauma. You may also experience flashbacks or start to engage in self-destructive behaviors.
Emotionally, you’re likely to see changes too. You might find it harder to control or regulate the emotions you're experiencing. Your self-esteem and self-confidence may be lower. You may experience more outbursts or find that things trigger you in ways they didn’t before.
There may also be physical changes. Trauma can trigger the release of stress hormones in your body and have a domino effect. You may find yourself getting tired more frequently, changes in appetite, or different sleeping patterns. Feel more aches and pains in your body. Develop a weakened immune system and find yourself getting sick more often. In severe cases of trauma, you may even start to develop stomach ulcers. Trauma can also lead to substance abuse, which will have very severe impacts on your body.
Socially, you might have to make some changes as well. It may be hard for you to be around big groups of people. Certain sounds and smells could become triggering. Places you used to love may no longer feel safe. Your relationships with friends may change as well. You may start to isolate yourself when they initiate communication.
Keep in mind that what affects one person may not affect someone else. You may not experience everything on this list. Trauma is not one size fits all.
How Long Does Trauma Last?
Some people may experience relief from symptoms in a few weeks or months. Others may experience long-lasting effects. Keep in mind that the symptoms may not show up right away. The effects of trauma can come up in ways you aren't expecting. This is often called a trauma response. Someone may react to something in an unusual way. A child who was previously bubbly and outgoing may be more withdrawn. You could find yourself disconnected in ways you weren't before.
When I think about the last impacts of trauma, the first thing that always comes to mind is generational trauma. We shame people when they express discomfort and say things like “that’s just the way we always do it.” We struggle with resting because we “always need to be ready”. We don’t have hard conversations with our kids because it's “grown folks business,” and then act surprised when they repeat the same cycles. So many of our responses that were originally started to protect us can often be the very thing that keeps us broken. And when someone does try to break away, we shun them and make them experience the loneliness of being a cycle breaker.
What Happens If Trauma is Left Untreated?
If left untreated, you may start to experience an increase in the symptoms mentioned above. Mental health problems, mood swings, irritability, physical health issues, and relationship strains are just a few things that can be impacted. It can also be passed down generationally. It can even show up in small ways throughout your day.
How Trauma Shows Up in Everyday Life
Trouble trusting people—even people trying to love you.
Constant need to prove yourself or “do it all.”
Emotional shutdown or overreaction to minor issues.
Disconnection from faith or self-worth.
Perfectionism and people-pleasing.
Being hyper-independent.
How Can Trauma Be Treated?
You can start healing from trauma in a variety of ways:
Therapy: Working with a culturally competent, trauma-informed therapist who sees you fully. Try finding someone who uses EMDR, Cognitive Processing Therapy, or other specializations in trauma
Somatic practices: Learning to listen to your body’s wisdom. You can do things like yoga, meditation, and breathwork.
Journaling: Getting your truth out on paper—even the messy parts. Find mental health worksheets or other resources that can get you started on the right track.
Healing is holy work. It’s reclaiming the parts of you that trauma tried to erase, and it’s worth addressing.
Where to Start?
You are not broken, but you may be struggling. Wherever you are in your mental health journey, you can start working towards your healing.
Develop a sense of safety. This can be a safe area in your house. Music or books that bring you comfort. Not just safety in the physical sense, but mentally and emotionally as well
Take time to process. Schedule the appointment with the therapist. Give yourself space to identify your trauma and start to heal from it.
Start to reconnect. Tap into some of the old things you used to enjoy. Reach out to people you may have isolated yourself from. Rediscover parts of yourself that may not have been able to shine through.
A Final Word
If this blog stirred something in you, take a breath. It’s okay to feel tender. You don’t have to heal it all at once. Just take the next kind step toward yourself. Trauma can be very hard to navigate, and you’re not meant to do it alone.
At Blooming with Bisi, I believe healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone. Whether through therapy, workshops, or resources, I’m here to walk with you.
Because your healing matters. Your story matters. You matter.
Are you a Florida Resident in need of a therapist? I have availability! Check out my therapy services on my practice site, Mindful Blooms Counseling, to see if we’d be a good fit for each other!
